I blink and it's autumn. How does the time pass so quickly?
It feels like a whole season has gone by in a day. The leaves have now turned a beautiful yellow-orange-auburn colour and the streets are full of them. As I walk through the park I step on them and the crunchy noise makes me smile.
As you may know, I'm not a morning person but lately I do enjoy waking up early. I open my curtains and I see the morning fog covering the grass, the sky is grey and the scenery is moody. Yes, it may sound depressing to a lot of you out there but to me, it's my perfect morning.
It has been a while since I last wrote to you but I felt like I needed a break from a lot of things, even the ones I enjoy doing. Work was quite hectic during the summer and it did take up a lot of my time and energy. It's not just the physical tiredness but also the mental one. Making my way through the crowd in the departures area as I was looking at all those people it hit me.
We're living life in disguise.
In disguise as to what we really feel. We put a mask on and we walk around in it as if it is some kind of trophy and we lie not only to others but to ourselves too. I mean, okay, not everyone needs to know when I'm not at my finest but lying to me? I am lying to myself. Say it out loud and tell me it doesn't sound wrong.
What's made lying so easy? Might be the circumstances that forced us to. Could also be the people that surround us. Or it's just a self-defence mechanism. I can't say for sure but I'll hope is the later. What somehow upsets me though is the fact that if we never let others see our "real" how do we expect them to put their mask down and show us their own feelings? Is just a vicious circle.
Maybe the effort we've put on covering up our feelings has made us a bit more cruel than we expected. I could probably tolerate being mean to myself but when it comes to being mean to the ones around me it's a no. Why would someone willingly cause pain to someone else? I never managed to comprehend that. It's time to reevaluate how we treat everyone with ourselves first in the line, it's time to bring back what makes each one authentic and let our truth shine through.
I did say earlier that I hope it's all a result of a self-defence mechanism because, and I'm being honest here, I have caught myself in the past refusing to give into my real feelings as my brain was trying to protect my heart. You know this old saying that heart and mind always contradict each other? Most of the times we don't know which one to follow and I am no exception.
Mind Vs Heart. A constant battle where both parts cross the finish line wounded. Take a closer look and you'll see, the heart is the real fighter. Even when the trauma is deep, when she's bled, when you think you can't take it any longer she keeps on going. That's how a heart is, scared all over but with the word winner clearly written on her.
In disguise as to what we really feel. We put a mask on and we walk around in it as if it is some kind of trophy and we lie not only to others but to ourselves too. I mean, okay, not everyone needs to know when I'm not at my finest but lying to me? I am lying to myself. Say it out loud and tell me it doesn't sound wrong.
Maybe the effort we've put on covering up our feelings has made us a bit more cruel than we expected. I could probably tolerate being mean to myself but when it comes to being mean to the ones around me it's a no. Why would someone willingly cause pain to someone else? I never managed to comprehend that. It's time to reevaluate how we treat everyone with ourselves first in the line, it's time to bring back what makes each one authentic and let our truth shine through.
I did say earlier that I hope it's all a result of a self-defence mechanism because, and I'm being honest here, I have caught myself in the past refusing to give into my real feelings as my brain was trying to protect my heart. You know this old saying that heart and mind always contradict each other? Most of the times we don't know which one to follow and I am no exception.
Mind Vs Heart. A constant battle where both parts cross the finish line wounded. Take a closer look and you'll see, the heart is the real fighter. Even when the trauma is deep, when she's bled, when you think you can't take it any longer she keeps on going. That's how a heart is, scared all over but with the word winner clearly written on her.
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