Do you know the game where I say a word and you say the first relevant word that comes to mind? Let’s do it. Here’s mine - Body Shaming. Quick, say it. A word. Fat. Wait, what? OMG, fat?! Who would ever use a word like that to describe someone.
When I started this blog my main focus was skincare, it still is and I love my skincare to bits. But as I’ve said before I see this blog as my little space in the blogosphere hence as a platform to address different issues. Here’s a little story as to where this post comes from and what motivated me to address the problem of body shaming.
A while ago I innocently posted a picture on the gram, a picture of my best friend and I having fun at a local event. At the time nothing seemed unnatural but little did I know that this picture would cause such a frenzy. As I was making my way home, having ignored my phone for the whole day, I had quite a few notifications to go through, mainly messages. Family and friends texting me asking if I’m okay, if I face any difficulties or problems and that if I did I should reach out to them. Little do I need to say I was staring at my phone oblivious.
In an attempt to figure out what happened in these couple of hours that I was inactive I started going through them messages. And the bomb dropped.
“You are so skinny, you look sick. I’m worried.” The next message read “You look awful, what has happened to you?” “You’re skin and bones, you better start eating something” “Your arm is the size of my wrist, not much of big guns there LOL”
NO!
I refuse to believe that people think is okay to comment on my weight telling me how I am supposed to look and that I ain’t normal. For years I struggled to come to terms with the way I look, to embrace my imperfections and be happy in my own skin. There are still days I look in the mirror and the only thing I see is flaws but I’ve come a long way and I wouldn’t let anyone take me down.
Whether their words were out of interest or just wanted to be sour they had an impact. People is time to realise that body shaming in any way, shape or form is wrong! It doesn’t matter if you’re addressing an overweight or an underweight person, it has the exact same effect. Knocking down someone’s confidence, making them feel like rubbish. Those who know me, know that I usually take it on the chin and I fire back but that came out of nowhere.
It took me a couple of days to dust it off cause it really hurt me. The fact that friends that I love and respect had talked to me like that without thinking how it’d make me feel first.
Can I ask you for a favour? Walk up to someone and tell them they should lose a few pounds. Go on, do it!
“But that’s wrong, you can’t tell to someone is too fat.” Well, big news d**khead, neither is telling someone is too skinny. Like you, I eat whenever I’m hungry, I exercise whenever I get the chance and I feel good. That is how I am, how my body is, my metabolism…say it however you like, the conclusion is the same. This is who I am.
To everyone reading this I want to tell you that you’re perfect the way you are, no matter how big or small, no matter what colour your skin is or where you’re coming from. I know it sounds cliché but it’s the least I can say and if you’re going through a hard time know that you’re not alone. Fight back and show them who the boss is. Put a smile on your face and use it as a shield against anything negative. Bin the measuring tape and take the batteries off of the scale.
I am healthy and that’s all it matters. If you’re healthy who cares about thigh gaps and six-packs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the aesthetics and I applaud everyone who can go to the gym and achieve a six-pack. I’d love to have a sculpted body and nice arms to fill the t-shirts, a turning-head bubble butt BUT that’s not how my body is. I’m an advocate for a healthy lifestyle and eating right but not everyone is the same. Trust me I’ve tried. I have paid for a gym subscription 3 times spending a considerable amount of money and all of the times I only stuck to it for a week. I am simply not enjoying it. Having said that I need to mention I’ve tried different ways of exercising and I found that outdoor running is my thing. It makes me feel good and clears my mind. Headphones on, a pair of trainers and jog on. Obviously, if I have a very busy schedule or the weather is bad (I’m talking hailstones bad) then I’ll just settle with a cuppa under my blanket by the window, ha!
Be YOU, do what makes YOU happy and ignore the negativity.
I don’t wanna tire you any further so I will leave it here. I hope you got my point.
Cheers darlings & be strong,
Apo Xx
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